I’m Back, Maybe?! On ADHD Tax, Hiatuses and Big Life Changes

Oh hello, bet you didn’t expect me in your feed now, did you? That’s fair, I didn’t really expect this either.

Do I even remember how to use this site? The little imposter in my brain says no. After all, it has been exactly two years since I posted here last and I am not exactly known for keeping unused technical knowledge around in my head. So hello from my digital grave and a very long unexpected hiatus, I am back!

As for why I was gone in the first place? To be frank, this hiatus kind of crept up on me. I no longer had the intrinsic motivation to keep up with this blog and the book community the way I did and as somewhat as an all-or-nothing person, I guess it felt easier to just…stop. I would like to issue a formal apology to everyone I accidentally ghosted or never got back to for a review, you deserved better!

Why am I back?

The deep explanation is that I have been thinking about finding a way to continue blogging for a while now because believe it or not, I miss it! I miss the community, I miss finding out about new books and sharing recommendations and having my own corner of the internet. And while my use of social media has changed and I haven’t been engaging much on bookstagram and elsewhere, I do truly miss the sense of connection with other readers and storytellers.

The way funnier explanation is that a few days ago, while checking my PayPal for something entirely unrelated, I realised I had just been charged a neat 400 bucks for website hosting of this very blog for the next three years. Now, did I remember I had set up an auto renewal on this? No. Did I briefly panic about this fucking my finances? I sure did. However, now that I have paid this ADHD tax of not remembering to check wtf is going on with this unused blog at least every once in a while (or even setting a reminder about a very expensive subscription, maybe?), I figured it would be the funniest possible reason to spur me back to blogging-life. I want to at least try to make this purely my most expensive hobby and not my most expensive and unused hobby.

A Life Update

Now, time for a little life update that may as well serve as a reintroduction!

As of writing this, I am 27 and a few months ago graduated with my master’s in media studies. I wrote my thesis about a mediaethnography of local zine culture and practices, looking at zines not just as a medium but as a practice and process. It was very fun research, connected me with some truly lovely zine makers and only embiggened my passion for zines! It did also cost me a considerable amount of sleep, energy and probably at least some sanity. Let’s just say most of it was written in the two weeks before it was due and I may have caused irreparable harm to my body by sitting like a shrimp for most of that time.

Another big life update is that I have moved across the country and am now living in a much bigger city in a part of Germany I had never really been to! I am also now living with my partner for the first time ever (that is not a summer of us squeezed into my student dorm) which has been a wonderful new chapter.

I am as of yet utterly jobless and battling my executive dysfunction and a mild bout of my recurring depression, but I also did somewhat of a doctor speedrun and now have regular physiotherapy for the first time in my life. Because it turns out, I do in fact suffer from some hypermobility and apparently the normal amount of pain is zero!

As for the depression, well, one of the posts I remember planning before this entirely unintended and unannounced hiatus was actually about being a depressed blogger and how mental health affects my hobbies. That is to say, depression sucks and while I am luckily largely functional in my day to day life even during the worst of it, creative projects and more extensive hobbies have been a challenge these past years. I am forever figuring out ways to deal with it and a big part of that is simply caring less, mainly about my own expectations.

What about reading and this blog?

My reading over the last years has also changed, I have read much less than I did during my active bookblogging days and my book-buying habits have also adapted. In preparation for the move, I drastically reduced my physical book collection and I have no regrets. One day, I want to have a proper home library but in this phase of my life I simply do not read enough physical books to keep buying them on a whim.

As for this blog, well, I am still figuring out what to do with it! I have been so out of the loop with publishing and book blogging, so fellow bloggers feel free to shout yourself and your favourite content out in the comments so I can get to know you and your amazing work again!

One thing I know for certain is that this time around, I don’t want to pressure myself into any kind of posting schedule. This is a hobby and it is allowed to change and grow as I do! And part of that is a better blog-life balance. There may be formats and updates that are somewhat regular but expect to see me mostly sporadically.

Now, for the last two years I have consistently been haunted by my unreviewed books on NetGalley. I actually read quite a few of them and simply never got around to reviewing them. I am undecided how to fix this. I know there are some in there that I adored, but it has simply been too long since I read them to do any review justice. So maybe I will cut my losses and just review them on NetGalley to the best of my ability and then move on with a fresh slate! Does anyone have advice for reviving a dead account?

What I’m Reading Now

As part of me rising from the hiatus grave, I thought it would be fun to let you in on what I am currently reading!

What Now?

I would love to have a metaphorical PowerPoint slide and a multi-step plan on what this blog is and will be. But since I am writing this on a complete whim (how very ADHD of me), there is no such plan and I don’t even have any updated graphics of any kind to show. Hell, I don’t even remember what half the plugins on this site do! It will take some readjusting and maybe one of these days a more thorough update to the look and style of this blog, if I have the time and skill.

Mostly, I wanted to use this incredibly funny ADHD Tax opportunity to give you a sign of life, if any of you are still around. And yes, this is a spontaneous if tentative step back into the blogging world and community, so please be nice to me, I’m new here again!

I expect to experiment with content and formats on this blog, maybe get more personal, share different experiences and recommendations that go beyond books and reading. I’ll see what I enjoy writing and you enjoy reading and go from there. If you have any wishes or ideas, do leave them in the comments!

Let’s chat!

Thank you so so much for reading this strange little (or long) revival post! If you stuck around this long, please feel free to reintroduce yourself and your blog as well so I can come say hi!

📚 What are you currently reading? Anything new I should check out? Tell me your recommendations!

📚 Any advice on reviving a blog? How does one return from the metaphorical internet dead?

I hope you have a lovely day,

If you like my work and would like to support me, you can buy me a coffee!